EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
 8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
 9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
 9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
 10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
 11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
 1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
 4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
 5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
 6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
 6:30pa.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
 8:30 pm  Oh, boy!  Sleeping in bed with my master!  My favorite!

 EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity:   My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.   They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.   The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the  satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

 Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
 
 Today my attempt to kill my captors by we aving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded;  must try this at the top of the stairs.   In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair,  must try this on their bed.
 

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an  attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.   They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.   Hmmm??? not working according to plan.   There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.   I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.   More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies".   Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.   He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly.   I am certain he reports my every move.   Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.   But I can wait,  it is only a matter of time.....